The Influence Of A Mother: Celebrating A Life Well-Lived
Sadly, my mother passed away last month, just two weeks before her 93rd birthday. In true Rita fashion, she would have wanted us to celebrate her life and focus on cherishing her memory rather than grieving her loss. She would have been delighted to see all of us gather and take bittersweet joy in remembering that her life’s purpose was to love her family.
I'm grateful to have had a mother who was truly ahead of her time and taught me so much about life, raising a family, and growing a company from the ground up. She was a compassionate soul who cared for others before herself. She was also known for her intelligence, fashion sense, and business savvy (hence being born ahead of her time).
My mother had her own strong business influences. In his early years, my grandfather used to hop on railroad cars and travel from carnival to carnival, selling combs for five cents each. He made enough money that when he met and married my grandmother, he had become a successful entrepreneur with many stores in NY and NJ.
During the Great Depression, the family lost everything and relocated to a small apartment in Brooklyn. No matter what, I learned the value of family from my grandparents and mother, who showed me and taught me what true resilience is about. Even in bad times, they encouraged us to find and move toward the shining light, as happiness and success await you there.
When I was in elementary school, my mom started her own business with her two best friends, Lovey and Bobby. Of course, my mom was the business partner who handled all the bookkeeping and financial work, which is no surprise. This role model of a woman left a lasting impact on me: she could run a business, never missing a beat as a mom, got me to every dance class, and ran our home as a home base for all our friends coming through.
By the time I was in high school, she had become a business manager in the film editing industry. She instilled in me a business mindset and continued to teach me the importance of understanding “the numbers.”
Please visit my blog, What the Numbers Tell Us, If We Only Look, to learn about the profound impact Mom's extensive knowledge of the numbers had on me.
Above all, she was my first and most influential business mentor. She always believed in me more than I believed in myself, and I credit her with much of my business success. When I told my mother in my 20s that I wanted to own a business and start a company, she never hesitated to encourage me. “You can do this,” she would say.
In the early days of Slater Success, she would review the numbers with me. She’d candidly look me in the eye and say, “The way you are building this business is not scalable, and you will never truly be able to grow revenue.” That was just one of the many wake-up calls I learned during her lifetime.
There were many occasions when Mom would also be present at retreats I organized for my clients. She never hesitated to speak her mind. I would often ask her to frankly provide input on a business, particularly on fees their business should be charging. It was not unheard of to hear my mother say, “Look in the mirror, recognize your value, and own it.” I have always tried to fill her shoes in this area and others.
Although I earned my certification as a professional coach 17 years ago, I have always thought my Mother taught me as much, if not more, about coaching others than anyone else.
She loved to interact with my friends when I brought them together. She viewed friends as her extended family. One of my clearest memories from sitting Shiva for her was the consistency of the remarks my kids’ friends made –
“She saw the best in everyone.”
“She always listened so carefully to me.”
“She didn’t act like a grandma -- she lived in the moment.”
Across her 93 years, she touched so many lives. She’ll be remembered as the role model she was to so many of us. Beyond business, she showed me what it means to be a great mother and an even better grandmother. She modeled what compassionate, wise parenting looks like. Now, with Sydney, my baby granddaughter, I can replicate what Mom and my kids shared.
At her funeral, her Caregiver, Sharon, had such a beautiful remembrance:
“I’ve worked with many clients but never met anyone like Rita. She was selfless and was always worried about me. Every day, she told me I was beautiful. She believed in me and encouraged me to believe in myself.”
Most importantly, Mom taught me that everyone in this world is equal. She taught me to look for and see the light and heart in everyone and to show up and share my heart with them. She was a woman born before her time. As I said, she was a great coach and mentor!
Thank you to all the current and former clients who knew my mom for the enormous outpouring of love and support. My mother's legacy is that of a woman who prioritized family above all else and taught us all that we can achieve more, become more, and experience more in life.
Rita was a woman who wanted us to celebrate life, and that’s what we have been doing these past few weeks. She may be gone, but she will never be forgotten. She lives on in our hearts.
A toast to Rita, a great role model in life, womanhood, and business.
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